Perfect
by mokona-pyuh
Summary: They thought he was clueless. That he didn't know the only reason Alaude was with him was to substitute for his brother. Ha. As if Tsuna couldn't hear Giotto's name, whispered like a prayer in the late hours when his lover was too tired to pay attention. OS. AU. Alaude/Tsuna.


**AN: Okay so I have literally no idea where this came from. The bunny came out of nowhere and didn't let go until it was out of my system so here it is. This is an AU, where the first gen is the family of the the tenth gen.**

 **Pairing: Tsuna/Alaude**

 **Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own anything 'xcept for the idea.**

 **Enjoy !**

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 **Perfect**

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Tsuna shifted in bed, pressing himself against the back of his boyfriend, Alaude. Even as he did that, Gokudera's voice came back to him, almost as if the bomber was there with him, trying to make him see sense. Tsuna closed his eyes, tensing up, thinking back on the argument earlier that day.

 _He's just using you !_ His friend had hissed harshly, the terrible, cruel words badly hiding the concern behind them. _He doesn't love you ! He loves your brother, Tsuna, he sees you as a replacement !_

Tsuna knew that Hayato had not said that with the intent to hurt, but with the intent to shock him, enough to make him see reason. To see that this relationship between Alaude and him, was unhealthy, and would only end in tears. The worst part of it ? Tsuna had heard the words, and recognized the truth of them.

He just didn't care to act on them.

Hayato, and most of his and his brother's friends thought he was clueless. That he didn't know that the blonde Cloud was just seeing him as a substitute for his older brother. Ha. As if Tsuna couldn't see the longing looks his boyfriend shot his brother, well-hidden underneath those steel-coloured eyes. As if he couldn't feel the way Alaude tensed and became almost harsh in his affections when confronted to the fact that Giotto was happily engaged to Kyoko.

As if he didn't hear his brother's name, whispered like a prayer, when they embraced in the late hours, when Alaude was too tired to check his mouth.

Tsuna knew, very well, that Alaude would rather see him two years older and blonde, taller and better in everything. Stronger. Graceful. All the things that Giotto was and that he wasn't.

But Tsuna wasn't his brother, _refused_ to be his brother, even for Alaude.

"Tsunayoshi ?" His lover's voice, too awake, suddenly murmured.

"Yes ?" He murmured back.

His Intuition was almost telling him that Alaude wanted to ask why he was still awake, but that would mean opening himself to the same question. There was something bothering the blonde, clearly. Tsuna propped himself up on his elbow, and looked at the figure his boyfriend cut, a dark, barely discernible mass in his bed, just slightly lit by moonlight. And his hair, a too pale halo on the pillow…

Tsuna almost cringed at the thought. He didn't hide his wince well enough, or maybe Alaude had taken his shift in position as meaning that they should talk. The Cloud turned over, and Tsuna couldn't make out his expression in the dark. He tilted his head to one side.

"Do you mind if I turn on the light ?" He asked softly.

"Why ?" Alaude asked.

Tsuna almost asked him _Why not ? Do you want to stay in the dark, so that you can pretend it's my brother lying there instead of me ? So that it's easier ?_

Almost. He understood, really, he did. But he wanted- _needed_ to see Alaude's expression for this. He could feel it, in his bones, in his mind, how this talk was going to be important. A turning point in their relationship.

"I want to see your face," he eventually said – because starting this with honesty might just be a good idea. "Please ?"

It wasn't really a plea, or a question, and Alaude seemed to understand that, because he nodded. Tsuna smiled, perhaps unseen, and turned to light the small lamp on the bedside table. It wasn't too bright, but still much brighter than the previous darkness. Both males took a few seconds blinking, adjusting their sight.

Finally, Tsuna sat up, his back against his pillow, looking at his lover. Alaude looked up at him for a few seconds, as if trying to understand something simply by searching his face. Whatever it was, if he found it he didn't say. He simply sat up as well. Tsuna hummed quietly.

"You wanted to talk about something ?" He asked Alaude, when the older male didn't speak immediately.

"I did," Alaude admitted, and it was blunt in a way that Tsuna appreciated.

It was perhaps what he liked most in the Hibari siblings. Both of them were honest to a fault, and terribly blunt, never seeing the point of beating around the bush or manipulating someone, even if it hurt the other. Tsuna thought that his appreciation for the blunt honesty was a result of being raised on a precarious foundation of lies – his father, his brother, _everyone_ kept secrets and tried to get to him while hiding the truth, their motives.

But then again, he himself wasn't much better, and this relationship was a lie in itself, wasn't it.

"What is it ?" Tsuna asked, when Alaude uncharacteristically hesitated.

"I- heard the argument," Alaude said, eventually, "Between you and Gokudera, this afternoon."

"Ah," Tsuna said, nodding. He could see where this was going, "Yes. What about it ?"

"Tsunayoshi," Alaude said, and there was reluctance in his tone, and a small crease on his forehead, proof that it _really_ had been bothering him. "You _know_. That what he said is the truth. Don't you ?"

 _You know that I went to you because I couldn't have your brother. You know that I started courting you out of selfish desire to have even a small part of him. You know that the love I have for you is just a by-product, nothing like what you would like._

None of that was said, but it was implied. Tsuna, for a long moment, simply stared at his boyfriend.

So Alaude was admitting to it, aloud, for the first time. After a year of being together, after a year of acting like the perfect couple, going on dates, calling each other on bad days, sleeping together, watching stupid movies, sparing, and fucking, and even mostly living together at this point, with how often Tsuna came by Alaude's flat.

He was just… telling the truth. Finally.

"Yes," Tsuna finally said, with a small smile. "I know."

Alaude nodded, sharply, confirming his suspicions clearly. The two of them might not be in love, but after a year being together and pretending, they had grown to know each other too intimately to _not_ know when the other was telling the truth or lying to their face.

"Why are you here, then ?" Alaude asked next.

And wasn't it the crux of the matter. Why did Tsuna stick around with a boyfriend that had been lying to him, using him as a pale copy of his own brother. Why, even when slapped in the face with the cold harsh truth, did he come back to this flat and let the other have his way with him.

Tsuna looked at his lover, and for a split second, Alaude was back to that day when, after so many more days spent hovering around the brunet, he had finally decided to approach him officially. That same day Giotto had brought Kyoko home for the first time.

" _Tsunayoshi," he said, before he could catch himself._

" _Kyo- ah, Alaude-san," Tsuna said, brown eyes wide with surprise, and a hesitant but kind smile on his face. He had clearly been expecting the other Hibari sibling, the younger Cloud. "Did you want something ?"_

" _I do," Alaude heard himself saying, that same honest, selfish part that wanted to bash Sasagawa Kyoko into the wall, and to snarl at his Sky for being so blind- "I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime ?"_

 _Tsuna's brown eyes widened in surprise, and for an instant there was a flash of_ something _in his expression, something odd and unknown, raw. It was gone so fast, Alaude almost thought he had imagined it. Especially when Tsuna blushed prettily, and ducked his head for a second._

" _G-go out ?" He stuttered._

" _Yes," Alaude confirmed. "As a date. If you'd like."_

 _Tsuna raised his head, and when his soft eyes met his own steel-grey ones, a smile worth a billion suns lighting up his face, Alaude hated himself just a little for taking advantage of such a young, innocent person. Then he reminded himself that Tsuna shouldn't be so naive, and his mind put some blond in the brown hair, and for a second he saw Giotto instead of Tsuna, and his breath caught…_

 _And he smiled back, thinly._

Tsuna wasn't smiling now, and he wasn't blushing. No, his expression was the same as it had been in that small split-second, raw and almost unnerving, bitter. Alaude blinked when a hand cupped his cheek, in a parody of gentleness.

"Do you really think," he started softly, almost tenderly, "That my Intuition wouldn't have let me know _why_ you asked me out ? That you weren't being honest ?"

 _No_ , Alaude thought. He had thought it weird, but hadn't tried to pry. Hadn't tried to look for evidence that the younger man was aware of it. He had already felt bad, somewhat, for using him. But if Tsuna had been aware of it- and allowed it- didn't it make it worse, somehow ?

"I knew," Tsuna confirmed, "The very moment you came to me, I knew why. I've always known." He smiled, and it was slightly bitter. "My brother- Giotto is a very lucky man, but he's also an idiot. A blind one. I'd dare say that he took both traits from my parents."

"Why do you accept this ?" Alaude asked, frowning, catching the hand on his cheek with his own, wondering if he should remove it. "If you know- If you've _known_ , for so long, about my selfishness… why ?"

"Because I'm selfish too," Tsuna answered, simply. "Don't tell me you didn't know as well."

And it was his smile, so sharp and humourless, despite looking deceivingly gentle, that convinced Alaude that the brunet was telling the truth. That what he had suspected-

Tsuna was much better at hiding his selfishness than him. It must come from his parents too, in a turn of irony. Still, even as they acted the perfect couple, there were some things that Tsuna couldn't hide either.

How he always took more time to bond with his Cloud Guardian than the others, citing the aloofness as an excuse. How he liked to look Alaude in the face, in the eyes, and in those moments he seemed to truly genuine in his affection, but the moment he saw his hair it became stilted. How sometimes, deep in the night, just between them, his lips formed another name that he didn't dare voice, as if trying to preserve their perfect fantasy.

They both had built this relationship for the same reason. Tsuna wasn't the only one with a brother that was blind and out of reach. Alaude wasn't the only one with a love that ran too deep for it to fade, and that had resorted to some sort of twisted solution to try and make the hurt fade.

"Kyoya, then ?" Alaude asked, more as a last confirmation than for real need of it.

"Yes," Tsuna said, and his tone showed how ironic he found the situation. He almost mocked it, asking, "Giotto, then ?"

"Yes," Alaude said simply.

Tsuna's fingers flexed almost involuntarily on his cheek, leaving a small trail of fire there. His smile was still too sharp. Alaude's lips twisted, almost despite himself, in a similar fashion.

"What a pathetic pair we make," Tsuna commented, almost idly. He looked at his lover, eyes searching, "What do we do, then ?"

"What do you want to do ?" Alaude asked, curious.

"Hm, I wonder," Tsuna hummed. He shook his head. "It's not as if our brothers are going to wake up one day and realize we are here."

"I doubt it," Alaude agreed, wryly – it still hurt to admit, but it was a truth neither of them could deny, and they had come to term with it. Still, because it needed to be said, he added, "I don't love you. I don't know if I ever will."

Tsuna looked at him for a second, before smiling, wide and beaming, and dangerous. He leaned in, until his breath tickled Alaude's lips, and purred.

"Good," Tsuna said, "Neither do I. Perfect, isn't it ?"

Alaude's lips twitched a little, and he closed the space between them. The brunet hummed against his lips, and shifted underneath the sheets to get closer to him. The blonde reacted by pulling him closer, his arms around his back.

Yes, he thought wryly, _perfect_.

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 **End**

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 **Okay, so let it be said that I really have no clue what I was doing with this and where I was going. I wrote it yesterday night at three in the morn' so really. I blame sleep deprivation.**

 **I mean, what the fuck, I don't even ship this. I'm stumped.**

 **Anyway. Please leave a review, even just a few words, to let me know what you thought, if you liked it, or if there was anything wrong. It's my only pay. ;)**

 **Feedback is always appreciated.**

 **Thank you !**


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